Hallmark Channel Christmas Movie Bingo

Men,

This time of year is one of the most important, potentially deadly toward marriages. After 7 years of successful marriage bliss, I am going to give you the tips to surviving Christmas. No, it isn’t complementing her mothers fruitcake or tolerating her crazy aunt who sends you gifts you never would buy from QVC.

It’s surviving the Hallmark Channel Christmas Movie. It’s not just any particular movie, just the obligatory Hallmark Channel movie, because they are all the same.  Yup, it’s the same plots every time with stars making you say, “Hey, they look familiar,” but you really don’t remember from where because their A list status 20 years ago has fallen to a high C, low D status now. The movies last always 2 hours long and about 90 minutes into the movie there is the twist that changes everything. In the end everything turns out all right and it snows.

We are being forced to watch this stuff as part of our punishment for making them watch football during Thanksgiving. So to help you survive said torture, I am going to give you the entertaining bingo cards to play when you are forced to watch said movies. Just take these lists and randomly fill out a blank bingo card and pass it out to the guys to play along with you at the Christmas parties this year.

We play blackout rules and if no one gets them all covered in the first movie, you are forced to watch another movie until someone wins. First one to win gets the comfy chair the rest of the night and gets delivered his drinks for the rest of the night.

Column #1 Characters: (Choose 5)

Rich handsome boyfriend

Candace Cameron Bure

Lori Laughlin

Henry Winkler

Ed Asner

Women who bakes cookies

Pastor

Willie Nelson

Eric McCormick

Janitor who is secretly Santa

Common looking guy who fixes things around the neighborhood

Geeky looking male assistant

Snooty rich girl

Mariah Carey (shot with the EXTREMELY SOFT LIGHT!!!!)

Single Dad

Single Mom

Poor college kid

Kooky Aunt/Uncle

Cranky Boss

Angel involved

Lacey Chabert (and none for Gretchen Weiners)

Column 2 : Situation (Pick 1 : cover the entire line)

Kid wants to believe in Santa

Angel who has to do something to get their wings

Main Character moving home because of divorce / lost job

Kid who wants something for his parent

Crabby character who wants to work through Christmas

Doesn’t believe in Christmas

Lost love

Column 3 : Places (Choose 5)

Vermont

New York City

Fictional town in New Hampshire

Ski Village

Big City – not NY

City that looks like Vancouver (Actually this is the Free Space since they are pretty much all shot in Canada)

Small town that character swore they would never return to.

Heaven

North Pole

Christmas Tree lot

Grandma’s House

Schools / Church Christmas Program

Christmas Party

Their ex-husbands home town

Column 4: Competition / Twist (Choose 5)

Snooty rich competitor returns to get her character’s love

Sabotage of any type

Confusion / Miscommunication

Job offer that takes one of the pair away

Adversity at Christmas

Love triangle

Lying about who you are

Prince(ess) being a commoner

Commoner being royalty

Column 5: Resolution (Doesn’t really matter they all happen but choose 5)

Angel gets his/her wings

Guy gets girl

Girl gets guy

Santa grants wish

Character gets promotion

Wishes granted

It snows

They lived happily ever after

 

So enjoy the Hallmark Christmas channel guys and just remember to pack a very large flask as when the women in your life start to fall in love with the characters, you will know that you could be a Mariah Carey entrance from Bingo.

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