How to survive the bacon shortage!
by Nick Freedman
posted Apr 9 2014 4:30PM
Be afraid, be very afraid because there is a virus killing baby pigs and it so far is unstoppable. No you may be thinking "I'm not a baby pig so I'm going to go back to eating my BLT and not worry about this." That is in fact is the very problem, no BLT's because there is NO BACON!!! This virus is threatening to start a world wide bacon shortage. Does this sound like the ramblings of an insane man, well of course, but it is better to be safe than sorry.
It is in this spirit that every family should have a bacon emergency plan.
Step 1: Buy all the bacon!
Now that you have a stockpile, you are ready for whatever shortage may strike. Bacon does go bad after a while so this brings us to the next step.
Step 2: Eat all the bacon before it goes bad!
It is important to keep your supplies fresh for whenever a bacon crisis hits, that's why rotating in fresh supplies is a must and disposal by eating is a perfect method to clean out the rations. Refrigerator isn't big enough to store all of your bacon needs? Then the next step is perfect for you.
Step 3: Get a pig!
Buy, rent, steal a pig, whatever you have to do to ensure that your family will survive even the worst bacon fiasco. When the fridge/freezer is full of provisions, your very own Babe will ensure that you are covered.
Hopefully we will all survive the upcoming bacon shortage, if we make sure we're prepared!